 CHIQUITA
ACCUSED OF FUNNELING MILLIONS TO
RIGHT-WING TERRORIST GROUP
Makes full confession after two hours in refrigerator. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Mexican President Proposes
“Guest Employer Program”
Would allow American employers already
running sweatshops in Mexico to remain in
Mexico after paying small fine. |
|
UK: Blair Blames Wave of
London Murders on “Black
Culture”
Particularly modern jazz. |
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| POLITICS |
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Presidential Hopefuls Eye
Weak GOP Field
Ready to jump in: Harold Stassen. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Attorney
General Gonzales's Family
Speaks Out
Wants him to spend more
time with them. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush Speech Reaffirming Iraq
Policy Received Favorably
By Southern Evangelical Christian
Veterans Against Evolution, Abortion and
Homosexuals. |
|
White House Admits It Lost
Thousands of E-Mails Pertaining to Firing
of U.S. Attorneys
“Thought it was spam.” |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
We're
living in the golden age
of Constitutional crises. |
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Funds for Recruitment Bonuses
Now Equal to Funds for Jamming Devices to
Disable Roadside Bombs
Cheaper to just buy new soldiers. |
|
Bush Willing to Meet With
Dems
But not talk with them. |
| |
JOB
OPENING
War Czar.
Must have military and/or
administrative
experience, preferably
three-star general or
above, capable of
coordinating troop
movements in two war
theaters simultaneously
while fending off
inquiries from Congress.
Start immediately. |
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