Ironic Times

 NO. 248 "Expect the Ironic" JUNE 13 - 19, 2005 

June 6
June 20
 
NEW CHARGE: BOLTON ACCUSED OF STRANGLING UNDERLING AT STATE DEPT.
Shown: embattled nominee defends his actions to Senate panel.
 
WORLD NEWS
U.S. Gives Hints it Might Close Gitmo
Prisoners would be relocated to Abu Ghraib.
Saddam to Be Tried on 12 Counts of Crimes Against Humanity
And, to be safe, one count of tax evasion.
 
EDUCATION
Researchers: Early Start to School
Day Makes Teenagers Moody

Later start also makes them moody.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
National Archives Opens 1.2 Million Military Records To Public
Every record for every soldier who ever served, except George W. Bush, whose records are still missing.
U. S. NEWS
House Ethics Committee Shuts Down
They can't find enough honest congressmen for a quorum.
Bush Job Approval Rating Hits
All-Time High

In poll of tobacco company executives, 100% say he's doing “a bang-up job.”
Everybody's Identity Stolen
Public urged to destroy everything.
 
REMINDER
  You have been pre-approved for a
  $400,000 home loan.
 
Kentucky Judge Offers Convicts Choice of Jail or Church
They can be molested by either convicts or priests.
 
MUSIC
Unknown Bach Cantata Discovered
Music experts believe it could become a very successful ringtone.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Man Who Shot Kennedy Reveals Himself
Says it was time, and he “could use the money.”
 
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