| PEOPLE |
 |
 |
Britney Spears Planning
a Kabbalah Wedding
Just as Nostradamus predicted. |
|
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Miss America Pageant Drops
Talent Competition
Move made in response to statistics
pointing to sharp rise in viewer suicides
during that segment. |
|
Study Finds Film Ratings
More Lenient
What used to receive an R (Bad
language, sex, violence) now receives
a G (Fun for the whole family). |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Jobs Picture Improves in
Service Sector
Led by bodyguards, lookouts, drug mules. |
|
GM Thinking of Developing
New Concept Car
Vehicle (not shown) is not yet on
the drawing boards. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
In Streamlining Move, EPA to
Ignore Endangered Species Act
In Reviewing New Pesticides
Should speed to market sprays effective
against condors, Galapagos tortoises,
and giant pandas. |
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
Revenge Built Into Genes,
Says New Research
Based on thirty-year study of
selected families in Sicily. |
| |
| |
 Yawning
Contagious Among Chimps
Researchers observe
dozens of chimpanzees as
they watch political
conventions. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
195,000 Deaths Due to
Hospital Error
Mostly in totaling up the bill. |
|
FDA Approves Botox for
Excessive Sweating
In time for vice presidential debate. |
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