| AUTO |
 |
 |
| |
British Entrepreneur Branson
Drives Across English Channel
In Record Time
But gets stuck in traffic jam on way to Paris. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Report: College Science
Lectures Boring
Suggested reforms include interactive
learning, lab work, pole dancing. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Cheney Booed at Yankee
Stadium
Tells crowd: “Go fuck
yourselves.” |
|
 |
Speedo Unveils New
Model U.S. Swimmers
Will Wear at Summer
Olympics
Expected to cut several seconds
off time it takes spectators to get
in their seats. |
|
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| New EPA rules allowing
plywood factories to emit more
formaldehyde into the air were
written by |
| A ) | Scientists
using data from recent studies
linking formaldehyde and
leukemia. |
| B ) |
Extraterrestrials using research
from anal probes of captured
earthlings. |
| C ) | Lawyers and
executives of the plywood
manufacturing industry using
their God-given common sense. |
|
|
|
| |
| FOOD |
|
Vodka-Flavored
Ice Cream Bars Go on Sale
in Australia
Aimed at kids who love
ice cream and the
occasional Bloody Mary. |
|
 |
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