| HIGH TECH |
 |
 |
Trumpet-Playing
Robot Arrested
Allegedly tried to
purchase narcotics from
undercover cop. |
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| SPORTS |
|
Congress: Steroids Threaten
to “Destroy” Baseball
“Fans don't want to see
athletes performing superhuman
feats,” says one senator. |
| |
| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
Ford Recalls Over One Million
Sedans for Brake Light, Air
Filter Problems
Although when you brake, other drivers
know because your air filter catches on fire. |
| |
| TOYS |
|
 |
| |
New Barbie
Dolls Look, Act Real
And they'll end up
costing you a fortune. |
|
Partial Text of Iraqi
Constitution
We the People of Iraq, in order
to form a more perfect Union,
establish Justice, crack down on
looters not members of our
families, and secure the
blessings of liberty to ourselves
and the members of our religious
group, do ordain and establish
this Constitution, if it's OK
with Paul Bremer. No official may
seize any man's property,
including his wife and daughters,
without due process of law.
Congress shall make no law
regarding the establishment of
religion, except maybe Islam. For
the support of this document, and
with a firm reliance on the
protection of Allah, we mutually
pledge to each other our Lives,
our Fortunes, and a reasonable
share of the kickbacks from
Halliburton. |
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| ODDS AND ENDS |
|
Dick Clark Sued Over Age Bias
Accused of turning down Methuselah for a job. |
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