Ironic Times

 NO. 182 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 8 - 14, 2004 

Mar 1
Mar 15
 
ECONOMY BOOMING
White House credits increased productivity.
 
WORLD NEWS
Putin Appoints New Prime Minister
Mikhail Yessirofsky expected to support president.
U.S. Wants American Inspectors
Placed at Foreign Airports

To keep an eye on foreigners.
Bush Administration Says Afghan
Economy Rebounding

Last year's opium trade broke all previous records.
Pentagon Report: Global Warming Greater Threat Than Terrorism
White House lists Iran, Syria, Cuba as primary sources of catastrophic warming.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Iraq Embracing Democracy
They vote against a ban on assault weapons.
U. S. NEWS
Senate Panel to Consider Media Indecency Bill
Group of corrupt politicians hopes to cleanse nation's airwaves.
Gay Rights Information Deleted From Government Sites, Forms, Publications
Anti-discrimination laws will be handled on a don't ask, don't tell basis.
 
REMINDER
  Most people get their news from TV
  newsreaders who have no idea what
  they’re saying.
 
A Nation Divided: 50% Believe
We’ll All Die in "Fiery Armageddon"

50% think other 50% is ”nutty as a fruitcake.”
New Nickels Go Into Circulation
Redesigned coins, honoring Louisiana Purchase, will be worthless.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
New Test Can Reveal if Your
Hamburger Contains Pork,
Mice, or Pieces of Human

If you really want to know.
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