| ART |
 |
"Dogs
Playing Poker"
Discovered Under
Rembrandt Self-Portrait
Experts peel away Dutch
artist's work to reveal
underlying masterpiece. |
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 |
|
| SPORTS |
|
City of Oakland Destroyed
By Angry Fans
And this was before the Super Bowl. |
| |
| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
|
 Pentagon
Reveals Highly Secret
Spider-Bot Program
Tiny computer-controlled
robotic spider can infiltrate enemy
positions and scare the hell out
of them. |
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| ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S
PUZZLER |
| |
D)
Because if we DID find them, it would
only prove that he WASN'T hiding them,
but NOT finding them proves that he IS
hiding them. |
|
 |
| Here are some of the first laws
the White House hopes to move
through a compassionately
conservative Congress: |
1. THE FREEDOM TO WORSHIP ACT
Requires states to provide the
names of
all those not regularly attending
church. |
2. THE PURPLE MOUNTAINS' MAJESTY
ACT
Provides tax credits for strip
mining, clear-cutting, mountain
top removal. |
3. TODDLER PROTECTION AND CHILD
SAFETY ACT
Authorizes first use of tactical
nuclear weapons if an officer in
the field wants to see how they
work. |
4. HOME, FLAG AND APPLE PIE ACT
Removes all civil liberties not
specifically removed by the
Patriot Act. |
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