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CHENEY
SUCCESSFULLY AVOIDS
SUBPOENA
Lieberman threatens hiring
crane operator. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Gerald Ford to Visit Cuba
On vacation, to play golf. |
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| EDUCATION |
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CDC: 7% of U.S. Kids Have
Attention Deficit Disorder
Percentage of adults with ADD even larger
than whatever it was for kids. |
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| WAR ON
TERROR |
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New Security
Measures in Place Around
Capitol
Reacting to "chatter"
of possible attack by rogue
elephant. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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India,
Pakistan at War
Nuclear annihilation
inevitable. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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White House Admits Far
Greater Contact With Enron
Than Previously Disclosed
But not nearly as much as it will be
forced to admit to later. |
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State Dept. Correction: Iran,
Not Iraq, Biggest Supporter of Terrorism
Mistake was "a typo." |
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CIA Boasts More Spies Than at
Any Time in History
And most of them are on our side. |
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REMINDER
You’re the only person who has
never read Moby Dick. |
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Rumsfeld: Terrorists Will
"Definitely" Acquire Nukes
Therefore, we might as well be the ones
to sell them to them. |
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Feds Hope to Make it Harder
to Obtain False ID
More red tape, higher prices, confusing
instructions among steps considered. |
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Los Angeles to Vote on San
Fernando Valley Secession Bid in November
New city would be called "Not
Los Angeles." |
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