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Ironic Times

 NO. 984 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 12 - 18, 2019 

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JANUARY - MARCH, 2017
  ENTIRE WORLD OBSERVES
INAUGURATION WITH
GREAT INTEREST

As America transitions to a kleptocracy.
Trump Claims: My Crowd Bigger Than Obama's
If you count no-shows.
President Says He Can Bring
Projected $21.6 Billion Cost
Of Border Wall “Way Down”

By stiffing contractors.
Mexico's Nieto Won't Come to U.S.
“The wall's already working!” boasts Trump.
Ivanka Trump Given West Wing Office, Security Clearance
And her own line of White House stationery.
Trump: “By Far the Highest IQ”
of Any Cabinet in History

If you don't include Rick Perry, he added.
Trump Meets With Saudis, Considers Them Important Allies
In the fight against Western Civilization.
Revealed: Flynn a Foreign Agent for Turkey While Advising Trump
Claims it was fine with Trump and okayed by Putin.
Trump Makes Japan's Prime Minister Wince With Vigorous Handshake
Then gives him a noogie (not shown).
APRIL - JUNE, 2017
Failure to Repeal Obamacare
Leaves Conservatives in Misery

Miserable because twenty-four million will get to keep their healthcare.
White House Budget Director:
We Can't Ask Single Moms to
Pay for PBS

Considering how much they're already spending on aircraft carriers, new nukes, Trump family security.
Irael: Trump Visits Wailing Wall
Complains to it about all the unfair press he's getting.
Trump Comment That Korea
“Once Part of China” Deeply
Upsets Koreans

Says he heard it from Dennis Rodman.
Trump Withdraws From
Paris Accord

Doesn't want to belong to any club that would have him as a member.
North Korea Successfully
Launches Ballistic Missile

“I double-dare them to attack South Korea with nukes,” tweets Trump.
Trump Drives Runaway Truck Without Brakes Towards Impenetrable Barrier
On National Metaphor Day.

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